Empire

Ah yes, the SEO thing again. If you remember I was a bit critical of firms that start blogs for SEO purposes. Then Scott Baradell recently wrote a SEO-fueled post. Today I read this Web Worker Daily post about keyword optimizing your resume.

How far do things go? It seems the logical end would be to keyword optimize the names of our children. After all how will they ever stand out in the future job market?

If you name your child Steve or Karen you’re condemning them to a lifetime of low page rank. My next child will be named Britney Guitar Hero Facebook or perhaps Google Mortgage Cheat Codes.

The trick is predicting what keywords will be hot in two decades. How about you, what’s your child’s keyword optimized name?

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12 Responses to Do SEO Industry Folks Keyword Optimize The Names of Their Kids?

  1. Karen says:

    Karen’s not THAT bad!!

  2. I’d try to make it futureproof:
    Currency Converter Climate Change.
    We’d call her “C.C.C.C.” for short.

  3. AlanML says:

    AdWord McPorno Microsoft Jones
    *sorry, kid. I did what I had to do.*

  4. Dave C. says:

    I, for one, will be taking advantage of the list from The Ladders’and incorporating CPA, CFO, “plant manager” and “supply chain” into my resume. Any suggestions? “Controller” shouldn’t be too tough, though I’ve always preferred Comptroller.
    My dog Toofis was really nicely keyword optimized for years to come, but with the recent changes to The Google, his Pagerank is all out of whack again.

  5. John Stavely says:

    Youtube “social media” Bush

  6. scott says:

    Or you could just change your name — a la, “Josh LOL Hallett” …

  7. I have formally thanked my parents for having the foresight to bestow upon me a uniquely google-able name. Go ahead — Google Marijean Jaggers — It’s all me, baby.

  8. Chris Scott says:

    I’d go with “Lolcat” since that will still be popular–and funny–in a decade. What do you call a meme that won’t die?

  9. Ike says:

    What do you call a meme that won’t die?
    Zombie.
    I’m up to #12 when you search Google for “Ike”. You can help put me over the top, Josh!

  10. Lee Odden says:

    Don’t get me started….
    Why not get away from any literal naming conventions and go purely ironic and clever? Better yet, don’t give any indication what something is in the name, just use something ambiguous and spend boatloads of cash on advertising to drive traffic and “build the brand”. All while tiny competitors with SEO chops grab market share with sites that are easier for search engines to understand.
    SEO in it’s proper form is about making it easier for search to do it’s job. Those trying to squeeze water out of rocks with their keyword stuffed spew are keyword crack addicts, which has nothing to do with the “medicine” of making search work better.
    Ah, that feels better. :)

  11. john cass says:

    You know you have arrived when your blog comes up on the search in google on just your first name.
    Try “robert”.
    He used to have the number one spot, but wikipedia is on the march again.

  12. Just give the kiddos names with weird spellings – Google Mistie Thompson and you’ll see what I mean. Apparently my mother was confused about the spelling of a freaky Clint Eastwood movie – as a result, I’m totally google-able.
    I’m predicting Suri Cruise has this contest won for a long, long time.

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